CAST OF CHARACTERS:

Hope Daniels:
Newly single mom, professional photographer, moving from the Big City to idyllic Sycamore Road to start life anew. Sunny, optimistic, heart of gold. A bit klutzy, goofy.

Prudence Fairchild:
Martha Stewart meets Mary Poppins. Practically perfect in every way. The ultimate homemaker, gourmet chef, gardener, mother, wife and friend. If there’s a problem, she can solve it.

Grace Ryan:
Former corporate powerhouse now on the mommy track. Triplets. Stretched to the limit. Earthy, edgy, no nonsense.

Faith Vasquez:
Pampered but not spoiled. Former beauty queen and cover girl. Beautiful, brainy, charming. Always gets what she wants.

Super Hunky Contractor—Mark Delvecchio:
Every woman’s fantasy of the ideal man. Handsome, sweet, funny, warm, communicative, generous, strong—in other words, completely fictional. (This role is “played” by an audience member selected before each show.)

Voiceover:
A warm, bemused, slyly seductive female narrator whose omniscient perspective gives her unparalleled insight into the goings-on of the idyllic little community in which our housewives live.

Sycamore Road:
An idyllic community somewhere in the United States where anything can happen, the unbelievable is believable, and there is no over the top. Tree-lined streets. Lovely, though not ostentatious homes. Well-tended yards. Children playing ball, paperboys on bicycles. Neighbors who actually talk to each other.

PRE-SHOW:
Hope moves into the audience shortly before the start of the show to choose an audience member—ideally an attractive one—to “play” Super Hunky Contractor Mark. He will be asked to stand on a specific mark near Hope’s stage so she doesn’t have to search for him at the end. Our backup will be next to him and in place in case he bails.

VOG announce, recorded by our VO lady:

PRE-SHOW VO:
If you’re desperate for a little good, clean fun—don’t go anywhere. The show’s about to begin.

Once set, show begins with:
OPENING SFX:
Sound of ticking clock, then Danny Elfman-esque opening music layered in, followed by:

OPENING VOICEOVER:
Sycamore Road—to the outside observer, this idyllic little neighborhood could easily be mistaken for Heaven on Earth. And it just might be. You see, in a world that’s moving faster and faster, the ladies who live here have been given the greatest gift of all— time. But as we take a peek into their lives, we might find that even the most angelic-looking of it’s residents has a secret or two she’s just dying to come clean with.

OPENING VIDEO:
During the above VO the video screens display a montage of still images dissolving loosely one to another—the perfect American neighborhood a la Wisteria Lane , busy city street shots w/blurred clock hands on clock face, “Hero” kitchens with _______ Appliances. The images become more specific with the introduction of each character.

OPENING ACTION:
During the preceding, Pru, Grace and Faith enter and freeze in tableau on their respective stages. They briefly come to life during each of the following introductions.

VO:
Prudence Fairchild is Sycamore Road ’s answer to Martha Stewart—well, minus the electronic ankle bracelet. Who knew her hottest passions were about to be exposed?

PRUDENCE VIDEO:
Shots of Pru’s manicured yard, impeccably decorated home, gourmet kitchen. Lovely, perfect, immaculate.

VO:
Grace Ryan’s leap from the corporate fast track to the mommy track with the birth of her triplets has been anything but graceful. What’s the secret to her new balancing act? You can bet it’s not what you think.

GRACE VIDEO:
Shots of minivan in garage with bicycles lying in driveway, toy-strewn bedroom, piles of laundry. Chaotic. Each shot screams, “Busy mom”.

VO:
Faith Vasquez brings men of all ages to their knees with a lethal combination of beauty, brains and charm. Who’s the man who changed her life—and what sorts of compromising situations has he gotten her into?

FAITH VIDEO:
Shots of gorgeous pool and gazebo, Ferrari in driveway, lush master bedroom suite. Faith’s home is the most opulent, over the top, “decorated” home in the neighborhood. Not garish, but more is definitely more.

Lights up on HOPE, in a state as she scrambles through the audience with her photographic equipment, groceries and purse. Cell phone in hand, dialing as she goes.

VO:
And then there’s Hope Daniels—a successful photographer and newly single mom, she’s leaving the city to make a fresh start near her dearest friends on Sycamore Road . But when things get off to a rocky start, Hope calls the one person she knows can take on any challenge.

HOPE VIDEO:
Montage of city shots, empty house, moving boxes, appliance-free kitchen.

SFX:
Phone rings

LIGHTS UP ON PRUDENCE’S KITCHEN:
PRU:
Hello?

HOPE:
Prudence, it’s me.

PRU:
Hope! Have you gotten out of that dirty city yet?

HOPE:
I’m almost there. I just finished my last shoot for the magazine—and now I’m going to shoot my contractor. He left me a message saying that the cut-rate appliances he insisted on for my kitchen are stuck on a BOAT somewhere and won’t be here for a MONTH or two!!!

PRU:
What!? Hope, that’s crazy. Didn’t you call my contractor Mark?

HOPE:
No, he was out of town, so I went with this other guy. What am I gonna do? The kids are with Don this weekend, but they get here Monday and we can’t live without a kitchen for a month or two. This is a disaster!

PRU:
Get over here right now. I know exactly what to do.

HOPE:
Thanks Pru. I knew I could count on you.

PRUDENCE’S KITCHEN:
Prudence cheerfully humming as she bustles about pulling biscotti from the oven and pouring tea. Hope staggers in with her things.

PRU:
Hope! Here, sit down. I whipped up some hazelnut biscotti and fresh-picked chamomile tea to calm you down.

HOPE:
I just got off the phone with you two minutes ago.

PRU: (Smiling sweetly as she serves )
Mm-hmm.

HOPE:
Oh my gosh, it smells amazing in here.

PRU:
Oh that? It’s just Roger’s lunch. Spring Garlic and Black Truffle Soup to start, followed by Roasted Medallions of Wild Boar in a red wine reduction, accompanied by pea tendrils and potato galette.

HOPE:
What, no soufflé for dessert?

PRU:
That was yesterday. I don’t like to repeat.

HOPE:
If I didn’t love you so much I’d be absolutely terrified of you.

PRU:
All right young lady, here’s the plan. You’re scheduled to see Grace at 1:00 for her input. Oh, be a love and take these cookies to the triplets, will you? ( Hands her the beribboned basket.) Then Faith at 2:00 , and last but certainly not least, my contractor Mark Delvecchio at 3:00 . He was off building hospitals in the rainforest, but he just got back and he’s agreed to take you on. You’re very lucky. Women line up around the block for his services. I can’t tell you how much he’s changed my life.

HOPE:
Are we still talking about appliances here?

PRU:
Don’t underestimate the power of the right appliance to “rock your world”, as the kids say. Hope, I’m going to tell you something I’ve never told anybody in my life. It’s not easy being perfect. Oh, I know I’ve made it LOOK easy, but the truth is, until I got my _______Convection Range , it never FELT easy. Now I can cook the most spectacular meals more easily than I ever dreamed possible. Even my toughest challenges—soufflés, for example—are perfect EVERY time. And with _______, clean up is a snap.

HOPE:
I don’t think I’ve ever seen you so—excited. What’s going on with you?

PRU:
Oh Hope, all this free time has done wonders for my marriage. As a matter of fact, Roger and I have a new way of ending our little lunches now.

HOPE:
Prudence Fairchild! I’m shocked. And thrilled!

PRU:
I know! Of course, we’re a little nervous about the noise.

HOPE:
The noise?

PRU:
Yesterday the mailman heard us.

HOPE:
Whoa! Look, you really don’t have to go into--

PRU:
So we asked him to join us.

HOPE:
Join you?

PRU:
Yes. He wasn’t half bad actually, though his rhythm was a bit off.

HOPE:
Oh dear. I think I’ll just go see if Grace is—

PRU:
Actually we’re thinking of just getting it over with and inviting all the neighbors--

HOPE:
The neighbors!?

PRU:
Yes. Well, it’s fun with the two of us, but it’s so much jollier in a big group.

HOPE:
JOLLIER!?! Prudence—what exactly are we talking about here?

PRU:
Why karaoke, of course!
(Pru whips out her microphone.)
You know singing has always been my secret passion, and now with all this free time and energy on my hands, I can sing my heart out AND keep my family happy. I’m in training to go on Housewife Idol! Hit that red button.

Hope does, and Pru expertly belts out the last bars of “You’ve Made Me So Very Happy”—to the Free Standing Range , of course. Completely engrossed in her performance, Pru fails to notice that Hope, somewhat shocked by this transformation, has snuck out with the basket of cookies. On the button of her song, cross fade to:

GRACE’S KITCHEN
Grace is finishing loading her dishwasher, talking animatedly on a phone with headset, and writing down figures in a little black book all at the same time. Her phone manner hearkens back to her days as a corporate powerhouse—think Donald Trump meets Tony Soprano. Off the phone she’s the mom next door.

GRACE: (On the phone )
Come on Markham , you can do better than that!
( Hope enters without Grace noticing )
Two hundred units is a drop in the bucket! You don’t want another visit from Bobo, do you?
( Grace spots Hope, motions to her to come in )
‘Cause when Bobo’s not happy . . . that’s more like it. Hit the street!
( To Hope )
There you are!

HOPE:
Gracie! Wow, you look great. Here, Prudence made these for the girls.

GRACE:
Thanks. Hey, are you all right? Oh, wait—did you get karaoke’d?

HOPE:
Yes! What’s up with—?( phone rings)

GRACE:
Sorry, gotta take this.

( On phone )
Grace here! Glickman—you’re late again! C’mon, give me your numbers! What?!

( sotto voce )
Look, we’re on a deadline to move this “merchandise”, and a hundred and fifty units is nowhere near your quota. You know how addictive this stuff is. Like Bobo says, once you got ‘em hooked, they’re yours for life. Hey, someone else is beepin’ in. Step it up and call me later!

( New call)
Grace here! Bobo! Yeah, I’ve got the numbers and they’re not pretty. I think you may have to pay Glickman a little visit again. ( laughing ) Nah, you don’t have to rough her up—just scare her a little. Okay, later!

HOPE:
Grace, what’s—are you involved in . . .are you in some kind of trouble?

GRACE:
I’ll say! It’s Girl Scout Cookie season and these pansy housewives can’t sell worth bupkiss. Bobo Fortensky and I just took over as den mothers and we’ve had to pull out a little of the old corporate tough love to get the job done.

HOPE:
Oh, thank goodness.

GRACE:
I’ll tell ya Hope, I’m having the time of my life again. Thanks to magical Mark, the contractor from Heaven, I’m a new woman.

HOPE:
This sounds familiar.

GRACE:
Seriously. Not only does he babysit for me whenever I want, but the _______ Appliances he hooked us up with are amazing! Before we got this _______ Dishwasher I was going nuts. Between the kids and all their friends, I’m doing dishes constantly.

HOPE:
Hey, where are the girls? You didn’t actually build that soundproof room you’ve been talking about, did you?

GRACE:
No, they’re ASLEEP. Can you believe it? Our old dishwasher made so much noise it was impossible to get them down for a nap in the afternoon—or to sleep at night. But this honey is so quiet you don’t even hear it. In fact, they had to add an Info Light so I know it’s running.

HOPE:
Well that sounds impressive.

GRACE:
Yeah, it is. And it uses so little energy and water I don’t feel the least bit guilty about running it 24/7. Don’t even get me started on how easy it is to use and how clean my dishes get.

HOPE:
Wow! You really do seem different. It’s like a weight’s been lifted off you.

GRACE:
It has. Hope, I’ll be honest with you. I completely underestimated how hard being a mom is. Six months ago, I was so busy just trying to keep up, I wouldn’t have even thought about being den mother. Now, thanks to _______, I’ve got back the most valuable thing there is—time with my kids.

HOPE:
Okay, I’m adding the _______ Dishwasher to my wish list from “magical” Mark.

GRACE:
Smart girl. All right, I have to keep pushing cookies. Go see Faith—if you can get her out of that crazy spa room of hers. Hey—girls night tonight?

HOPE:
YES! Let’s do it at my place— seven o’clock ! You know what Gracie? I think things are looking up.

GRACE:
They always do! PS, I’m putting you down for 30 boxes of Thin Mints!

TRANSITION:
Pin spot on Prudence in her kitchen, mic in hand, doing her best Aretha with the last few bars of “Natural Woman”. Fade up on:

FAITH’S LAUNDRY SPA
Faith is in an impressive and rather acrobatic yoga asana, on a yoga mat dressed in a fetching little yoga outfit. Throughout the scene she deftly moves from one yoga pose to another. New-agey music is playing very softly in the background.

HOPE: (calling from offstage)
Faith, where are you?

FAITH:
Hope?! Hello love, I’m here in the spa room. Come on in!

HOPE:
Beauty queen?! Is this a bad time?

FAITH:
No, no, no—I’m just finishing up a little yoga. ( Hope enters.) There’s our girl! (Big hug and kiss.) Welcome to the neighborhood!

HOPE:
Oh thanks. Wait—you were serious about the yoga? I thought your motto was always, “If it makes you sweat, pay someone else to do it.”

FAITH:
Mark turned me on to it when he redid our place.

HOPE:
Your contractor.

FAITH:
Mmm-hmm. Hope, he’s such an amazing guy—contractor AND yoga master. Every day he taught me something new. He totally got me in touch with my inner core, opened up my chakras and awakened my kundalini.

HOPE:
Your kunda-whatsy? I’m sorry, but this does not sound like the beauty queen I know and love. And since when do you hang out in your laundry room? I’m surprised you even know where it is.

FAITH:
Are you kidding honey? I spend more time in here than anyplace. It’s the quietest place in my house, thanks to my _______ Washer and Dryer. It’s sooooo many times quieter than those other ones. And sweetie, if you want to find inner peace, you have to start with OUTER peace.

HOPE:
That sounds great, but I thought you didn’t, you know, DO laundry.

FAITH:
That was only because that nasty old washer/dryer we had before ruined so many of my nice things. Finally I just gave up and took everything to the dry cleaner. Poor Ricardo used to have a heart attack every time he saw the bills. But now I can do everything here and keep Ricky happy. Have you ever heard of laundry that handles silk, mohair, denim and lace?

HOPE:
Well, I’m still trying to get over the thought of you doing anything remotely resembling manual labor, but no, I have not.

FAITH:
It’s super easy to use—quite intuitive, really. Best of all, my _______ saves both water and energy—big time. We’ve only got one planet, you know—

HOPE:
Okay, who are you and what have you done with Faith? I always thought you were the queen of conspicuous consumption.

FAITH:
Look, not to get all Shirley MacLaine on you, but I’ve realized that there’s more to life than what’s on the outside. Okay, I may have won a pageant or two—

HOPE:
Or thirty.

FAITH:
I may have been on the cover of a magazine or two—

HOPE:
Or thirty.

FAITH:
Thirty one. Hey, I like a good margarita just like the next girl, and if I could do yoga in a pair of Manolo Blahniks then I would truly have found Nirvana. But it’s all about balance —literally. And if something as simple as a new appliance can help me find that—

HOPE:
Okay yoga girl, I get it. Sign me up.

During the following section Faith opens the Dryer and pulls out a garment to put on over her yoga outfit—perhaps a simple silk Diane von Furstenburg wrap dress—slips on a pair of killer heels, lets her hair down, and is instantly transformed from Yoga Girl to Cover Girl.

FAITH:
I thought you’d see the light. And if you play your cards right, Mark might just show you a pose or two. He’s quite single at the moment. Not to mention very bendy.

HOPE:
Well, at this point I’ll settle for a kitchen that works. But I am meeting him in 10 minutes. I think he wants to show me his specs.

FAITH: (shocked)
His pecs?

HOPE:
No! His specs—for my kitchen?

FAITH:
Oh. Well, rule number one? Smart girls never settle. And rule number two? Whatever he wants to show you—say yes.

HOPE:
I bow at the feet of the master. Margaritas at 7:00 ? My place?

FAITH:
7:00 ’s great! Though my intuition tells me you may be otherwise engaged. Ciao!

TRANSITION VO:
VO:
Just a few short hours later, the world—and more importantly her kitchen—looked like a very different place to Hope. But one more shocking secret had yet to be revealed.

HOPE'S KITCHEN
The four housewives—once desperate, now inspired—are drinking margaritas in Hope’s new, fully stocked kitchen. This is the first time they’ve all been together in some time. The air is festive, filled with playful laughter.

HOPE:
Oh, I tell you, the way this day started out, I was ready to catch the next train back to the City. Isn’t it amazing how your day can change in just a moment or two?

GRACE:
Day? Try life! And I’ve got the triplets to prove it.

HOPE:
I am so lucky to have you all. I don’t know where I’d be without you. And I don’t even want to think about where I’d be without my amazing new kitchen! Look how beautiful these _______ Appliances are. I can’t wait ‘till the kids get here. Home—I’m home.

PRUDENCE:
Oh dear, one margarita and she gets all misty. Now Hope, isn’t there something you want to tell us?

HOPE:
What? I have no idea what you’re—

PRU:
We have spent the entire day airing our dirty laundry with you, missy. I think it’s high time you come clean with us. What’s The Cardinal Rule of Girl’s Night, Hope? The one that must never be broken?

GRACE:
No!

FAITH:
She didn’t!

PRU:
She did!!!

GRACE:
Who?

PRU:
Who do you think?

FAITH:
I knew it! I saw it, clear as day!

HOPE:
How did you find out?!

PRU:
Hope, we may be living in paradise, but don’t think you can keep a secret here for more than ten minutes. Confess!

HOPE:
(This is excruciating, but in a rush she comes clean.) Oh—I, all right—I confess!!! I’m sort of—taking off early to go out with Mark. I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry. But you were right, he was just so—so GREAT and funny and, well, ( To Faith) I don’t know about bendy —but, you know, when he asked I just kind of said, yes and—

PRU:
(Overlapping, Pru holds up her hand to silence Hope)
Hope—we will allow an infraction of The Rule this once, on one condition. ( Looks quickly to Grace and Faith to make sure they agree.) He has to have a drink with all of us first!

HOPE:
Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you! You’re the best! I love my life.

SFX: Doorbell rings.
There he is—I’ll go get him!

GIRLS AD LIB gushy comments about Hunky Contractor Mark as Hope brings him to stage.

CUE UNDERSCORE MUSIC—
the instrumental bridge of Belinda Carlisle ’s “Heaven is a Place on Earth”.

CUE CLOSING VO.

CLOSING VOICEOVER:
And so ends another day in the life of the ladies of Sycamore Road . With a little help from _______, inspiration is only a secret away, and anyone’s home can become Heaven on Earth. And at the end of the day, that’s all that really matters—isn’t it?

CLOSING ACTION:
Simultaneous with the CLOSING VO, each of the girls greet Mark with a hug and a peck on the cheek, ad lib warm greetings and cluster around him with the same enthusiasm as if Brad Pitt had just walked into the room. One of the girls hands him a margarita. When the chorus of the song kicks they clink glasses, dance off with Mark, and live happily ever after.

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