The Writing Project—Script Excerpt

Desparate Households
Script Excerpt

Client: Major Appliance Brand
Writer/Director: Michael Carrera

FAITH’S LAUNDRY SPA
Faith is in an impressive and rather acrobatic yoga asana, on a yoga mat dressed in a fetching little yoga outfit. Throughout the scene she deftly moves from one yoga pose to another. New-agey music is playing very softly in the background.

HOPE:
(Calling from offstage)
Faith, where are you?

FAITH:
Hope?! Hello love, I’m here in the spa room. Come on in!

Faith's monologue

HOPE:
Beauty queen?! Is this a bad time?

FAITH:
No, no, no—I’m just finishing up a little yoga. (Hope enters) There’s our girl! (Big hug and kiss.) Welcome to the neighborhood!

HOPE:
Oh thanks. Wait—you were serious about the yoga? I thought your motto was always, “If it makes you sweat, pay someone else to do it.”

FAITH:
Mark turned me on to it when he redid our place

HOPE:
Your contractor?

FAITH:
Mmm-hmm. Hope, he’s such an amazing guy—contractor AND yoga master. Every day he taught me something new. He totally got me in touch with my inner core, opened up my chakras and awakened my kundalini.

HOPE:
Your kunda-whatsy? I’m sorry, but this does not sound like the beauty queen I know and love. And since when do you hang out in your laundry room? I’m surprised you even know where it is.

FAITH:
Are you kidding honey? I spend more time in here than anyplace. It’s the quietest place in my house, thanks to my _______ Washer and Dryer. It’s sooooo many times quieter than those other ones. And sweetie, if you want to find inner peace, you have to start with OUTER peace.

HOPE:
That sounds great, but I thought you didn’t, you know, DO laundry.

FAITH:
That was only because that nasty old washer/dryer we had before ruined so many of my nice things. Finally I just gave up and took everything to the dry cleaner. Poor Ricardo used to have a heart attack every time he saw the bills. But now I can do everything here and keep Ricky happy. Have you ever heard of laundry that handles silk, mohair, denim and lace?

HOPE:
Well, I’m still trying to get over the thought of you doing anything remotely resembling manual labor, but no, I have not.

FAITH:
It’s super easy to use—quite intuitive, really. Best of all, my _______ saves both water and energy—big time. We’ve only got one planet, you know—

HOPE:
Okay, who are you and what have you done with Faith? I always thought you were the queen of conspicuous consumption.

FAITH:
Look, not to get all Shirley MacLaine on you, but I’ve realized that there’s more to life than what’s on the outside. Okay, I may have won a pageant or two—

HOPE:
Or thirty.

FAITH: :
I may have been on the cover of a magazine or two—

HOPE:
Or thirty.

FAITH:
Thirty one. Hey, I like a good margarita just like the next girl, and if I could do yoga in a pair of Manolo Blahniks then I would truly have found Nirvana. But it’s all about balance —literally. And if something as simple as a new appliance can help me find that—

HOPE:
Okay yoga girl, I get it. Sign me up.

During the following section Faith opens the Dryer and pulls out a garment to put on over her yoga outfit—perhaps a simple silk Diane von Furstenburg wrap dress—slips on a pair of killer heels, lets her hair down, and is instantly transformed from Yoga Girl to Cover Girl.

FAITH:
I thought you’d see the light. And if you play your cards right, Mark might just show you a pose or two. He’s quite single at the moment. Not to mention very bendy.

HOPE:
Well, at this point I’ll settle for a kitchen that works. But I am meeting him in 10 minutes. I think he wants to show me his specs.

FAITH: (shocked)
His pecs?

HOPE:
No! His specs —for my kitchen?

FAITH:
Oh. Well, rule number one? Smart girls never settle. And rule number two? Whatever he wants to show you—say yes.

HOPE:
I bow at the feet of the master. Margaritas at 7:00 ? My place?

FAITH:
7:00 ’s great! Though my intuition tells me you may be otherwise engaged. Ciao!

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Complete Script

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Desparate Households Script Excerpt Client: Major Appliance Brand Writer/Director: Michael Carrera FAITH’S LAUNDRY SPA Faith is in an impressive and rather acrobatic yoga asana, on a yoga mat dressed in a fetching little yoga outfit. Throughout the scene she deftly moves from one yoga pose to another. New-agey music is playing very softly in the background. HOPE: (Calling from offstage) Faith, where are you? FAITH: Hope?! Hello love, I’m here in the spa room. Come on in!	Faith's monologue
HOPE: Beauty queen?! Is this a bad time? FAITH: No, no, no—I’m just finishing up a little yoga. (Hope enters) There’s our girl! (Big hug and kiss.) Welcome to the neighborhood! HOPE: Oh thanks. Wait—you were serious about the yoga? I thought your motto was always, “If it makes you sweat, pay someone else to do it.” FAITH: Mark turned me on to it when he redid our place HOPE: Your contractor? FAITH: Mmm-hmm. Hope, he’s such an amazing guy—contractor AND yoga master. Every day he taught me something new. He totally got me in touch with my inner core, opened up my chakras and awakened my kundalini. HOPE: Your kunda-whatsy? I’m sorry, but this does not sound like the beauty queen I know and love. And since when do you hang out in your laundry room? I’m surprised you even know where it is. FAITH: Are you kidding honey? I spend more time in here than anyplace. It’s the quietest place in my house, thanks to my _______ Washer and Dryer. It’s sooooo many times quieter than those other ones. And sweetie, if you want to find inner peace, you have to start with OUTER peace. HOPE: That sounds great, but I thought you didn’t, you know, DO laundry. FAITH: That was only because that nasty old washer/dryer we had before ruined so many of my nice things. Finally I just gave up and took everything to the dry cleaner. Poor Ricardo used to have a heart attack every time he saw the bills. But now I can do everything here and keep Ricky happy. Have you ever heard of laundry that handles silk, mohair, denim and lace? HOPE: Well, I’m still trying to get over the thought of you doing anything remotely resembling manual labor, but no, I have not. FAITH: It’s super easy to use—quite intuitive, really. Best of all, my _______ saves both water and energy—big time. We’ve only got one planet, you know— HOPE: Okay, who are you and what have you done with Faith? I always thought you were the queen of conspicuous consumption. FAITH: Look, not to get all Shirley MacLaine on you, but I’ve realized that there’s more to life than what’s on the outside. Okay, I may have won a pageant or two— HOPE: Or thirty. FAITH: : I may have been on the cover of a magazine or two— HOPE: Or thirty. FAITH: Thirty one. Hey, I like a good margarita just like the next girl, and if I could do yoga in a pair of Manolo Blahniks then I would truly have found Nirvana. But it’s all about balance —literally. And if something as simple as a new appliance can help me find that— HOPE: Okay yoga girl, I get it. Sign me up. During the following section Faith opens the Dryer and pulls out a garment to put on over her yoga outfit—perhaps a simple silk Diane von Furstenburg wrap dress—slips on a pair of killer heels, lets her hair down, and is instantly transformed from Yoga Girl to Cover Girl. FAITH: I thought you’d see the light. And if you play your cards right, Mark might just show you a pose or two. He’s quite single at the moment. Not to mention very bendy. HOPE: Well, at this point I’ll settle for a kitchen that works. But I am meeting him in 10 minutes. I think he wants to show me his specs. FAITH: (shocked) His pecs? HOPE: No! His specs —for my kitchen? FAITH: Oh. Well, rule number one? Smart girls never settle. And rule number two? Whatever he wants to show you—say yes. HOPE: I bow at the feet of the master. Margaritas at 7:00 ? My place? FAITH: 7:00 ’s great! Though my intuition tells me you may be otherwise engaged. Ciao! View samples of recent projects: Creative Summary Complete Script Return to the Writing Project home page Entertainment & Projects Music Creative Resources Boehm–Carrera Creative What's New Complete video list About us Contact us Home page